January 27, 2012

Reminisce on Rainy Day

It is always raining nowadays and my thoughts have been drifted far away. I cannot concentrate and cannot think clearly. My thoughts have always been disturbed by the memories of your ghost.

I wonder where you are now. I wonder whom you are with. I wonder what you are doing. I wonder what you look like now. I wonder what my life would have been with you...                                                                  
I wonder..

It is silly to know that I am missing you sometime. Its been two years now, yet it seems like yesterday.             

It was raining on November 13. We met in an unexpected time and place. You look so gloomy. I wonder why you look so sad. My friend introduced me to you. I said  "hi". That was the beginning of our love story. I never thought that it will just end in "goodbyes".

I guess that was the introduction of our love story. Just like other stories, the best part is not the beginning nor the ending; it is between the beginning and ending. Sometimes I wish that it was only "hi".The face of the man I used to love so dearly, so gloomy that I wanted to take that burden from you if only I could. Or wanted to share that burden so that it won't be too heavy to carry. I guess, I have played that part anyway. That part was the best part yet, the most painful! It never crossed my mind that if I share your burden or carry your burden, who will carry mine? Who is willing to catch me when I fall?

When it really hurts, I  close my eyes and wish that I have never met you! I wish that I can turn back time when I was young, naive and whole.  The time when I am always curious of true love and fairy tales. I believe so much in this fantasy. It makes me happy and free. I have always anticipate that perfect moment to come, that  I will finally meet my Prince Charming.

Everything changed when you came. I have felt the magic and the world seems to move so fast that I am afraid that time will steal you away from me. I felt that indescribable feeling of fleeting in the clouds when I am with you. I can't hide my smiles and twinkling eyes. It was such a perfect feeling at that time.

But there also goes the saying that there is no permanent in this world. The fear that time will steal you away from me became a reality. I hated time so much! But I also realized that time gave me the opportunity to cherish that perfect moment of "being in love".

I wonder why love is too painful to take. That you have to cry in order to feel the pain. But sometimes, when it is really painful, you cannot shed a single tear. I don't know why. Who won't get tired of crying? Maybe the heart and mind became numb already.That there is no more tears to cry.

Maybe that's apathy. Like after you care so much, after you love so much ,after you cry so much and grieve so much ; there's no room for anything anymore.It's really not advisable to give to much. But others say that if you love, you have to give it all so that you won't have regrets.  I don't think so...

Maybe we are really meant to get hurt...maybe we are meant to meet other people, good or bad... maybe we are meant to find that right person someday... I think it is not bad to hope even a little and to hope for the person to brighten our day like rainbow--after every rainy days. Someone who is willing to catch me when I fall. But I don't want it to be you. I am moving on....

January 20, 2012

The man I love or the man who loves me?

Who will you choose : the one who loves you or the one you love?

Love  makes the world go round. 
It makes your world full of hope, faith and happiness, granted that the love relationship you have is working great. 
You really can feel butterflies in your stomach. 
I believe that love is so powerful. 
It brings us to the world of fairy tales. However, in love, it is not always a happy ending.
If a person is caught between two lovers, there is a difficulty in choosing whom to love. 
For instance, you love someone so much but he/she does not love you the way you have loved him/her. 
So are you going to stick with him even though it hurts?
 Or  choose the one who love you ,despite the fact that you never really love the person?
It is not easy to choose between the two.
The scenario differs in a man and woman.
Man loves differently. They don't fall easily compared with the women. Women are gentle that whatever the man does like pursuing her, she will eventually fall on his charm. While in man, there should be a foundation of friendship so that he will fall hard for you.
Still, it is very difficult to choose.
 We cannot force love.
What we can do is let it grow and just be the person to be loved.
Time will  come that love will find its way to where it belongs.
We should not push things for it will cause pain and heartaches.
Trust and believe  in yourself !
Someday all the pain will go away.
Someday all the fears will vanish.
One day, someone will appear to complete you!

January 16, 2012

Living Life without a Purpose

They say that the difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right.

The problem now lies in doing nothing...

Most people want to be successful in life, yet they don't try hard enough to get rid of the difficult situation they are into. Most of us are happy with the current situation of just passing by. Like we can eat three times a day and  to feed our hungry stomachs. The sad fact is: we continue to live in the "mediocrity". And this impedes our goal to be achievable. So many of us have a lot of fear in us that we can't get out of our shell to see a different world. And worst of all is that we constantly blame other people for our own misfortune. So Many of us complain a lot. And this fuss is so big that we never realize that we are just making excuses to be more trap in the bad situation, thus living us no escape at all. Then you just sit and tell yourself that "I can never be the person I want to be". And that you will never go far from where you are. And seeing your friends and other people being happy, getting what they want, going wherever they want to go, having a happy and well-off life... that's just the kind of life you want to be...

The question is, do you want to be like that forever? Sitting and thinking about other people's fortune while pitying your misfortune? Or you will work hard to be more than what they achieved?

The journey to success is a long and winding road. It depends on how you cross that road...